Rugby Camaraderie with Meghan Potter

The second episode of the QFP features guest, Meghan Potter, a women's rugby player. Find her on Instagram @potter.mp3 or @capefearwomensrugbyclub. Follow the podcast @queerfitnesspod. The Queer Fitness Podcast is an interview podcast all about queer experiences with sports, fitness and our bodies. 

Support the show on Patreon.com/queerfitnesspod to hear bonus content from this episode (including Meghan describe rugby positions by their proximity to a butt cheek). 

Transcript at: https://queerfitnesspod.wordpress.com/2019/12/18/2-rubgy-commarderie-with-meghan-potter/

Transcript

Elise: 0:00

Welcome to the queer fitness podcast. I'm your host Elise and every week I'll be interviewing a queer person about their experiences in fitness and sports. This week I interviewed Megan Potter. A women's rugby player.

: 0:12

[ Intro music].

Elise: 0:24

The queer fitness podcast is co-produced by Eden Robinson and many thanks to our newest patron Eden Robinson. This episode of the queer fitness podcast is sponsored by our Patreon for just$1 a month. You too can become a patron of the queer fitness podcast. You'll get access to bonus content from every episode as well as patron only perks. Become a patron and help support the show at patrion.com/queerfitnesspod. Could you introduce yourself, your name, um, your identity, your queer identity, or any other like identifying words about yourself?

Meghan: 1:06

Yup. I'm Megan Potter and I am cis female, uh, and banker.

Elise: 1:13

Uh, yeah, sure.

Meghan: 1:15

You know, rugby enthusiast, just living the life in Wilmington.

Elise: 1:21

Cool, cool. Yeah. So maybe let's not start out with rugby since you said banker first always corporate banking. How is your experience as a queer person in corporate banking?

Meghan: 1:35

It's interesting. Anytime a queer person starts at the bank, I kind of get honestly a little excited. That, there's someone else that looks like me. Yeah. Um, but I, I'm not treated differently. I don't think I've ever been treated differently, but I know I'm lucky for sure. Uh, and I also have a really great job that they treat us really well. Uh, they care about us. It's like the number one priority at the bank. They take care of us, we take care of the customers, take care of your takes care of the stakeholders. So overall really lucky, but I love it a lot.

Elise: 2:07

Yeah. So cool. Cool. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not a corporate kind of person and that's why we're sitting here in the kitchen doing a podcast. So how, when did you start playing rugby and sort of like, how has that grown?

Meghan: 2:23

Yeah, I, uh, actually have been friends with rugby players for years. Uh, all of my time at UNCW, UNC Wilmington, I had so many friends and they all wanted me to play, but I was like, no, I can't tackle someone. Right. That's not in my nature. And I don't know what happened a year and a half ago, one of my friends finally convinced me to go to a practice. I think I was just looking for something new and then a couple people had continuously been begging me. I tried and, and the, you know, when you hear rugby you have a lot of connotations about it and, and honestly sounds really scary and especially because it makes no sense. At first you're like, what is this scrum? A ruck? What did you just call me? So, uh, but I went to a practice and we did simple things even. And overall I just really liked it. I mean it was just like hanging out with friends, but then also doing physical activity things which I enjoy and learning something new. And then over the course of the year, you know, I've gotten a little bit better.

Elise: 3:26

Yeah, that's good.

Meghan: 3:27

I do do good things sometimes.

Elise: 3:29

Um, are you playing a specific position?

Meghan: 3:32

So well, we play, there's the classic regular rugby that is fifteens they call it. So there's 15 players for each side, right? You're playing a 90 minute game that includes a 10 minute intermission or half or whatever you want to call it right there. Um, and so in that game, I usually play an eight man, which is kind of in the scrum, that big circle thing, person in the back or a flanker. So the ones that are kind of like this third row on the sides. So my job is more to keep an eye on what other people are doing and kind of peel off from that really quickly to tackle. Okay. So and that and that version, that's my position. And in sevens it's seven people on the frame. So you kind of are just free for all I'm jumping around in what you're doing.

Elise: 4:18

Right, right. Okay, that makes sense. Um, so only a year and a half doing Rugby? That's cool.

Meghan: 4:24

Yeah.

Elise: 4:25

Um, I did look up the Cape Fear Rugby Association. There was just a big tournament in July. O r did you participate in or are you traveling to other tournaments or?

Meghan: 4:35

Right, yeah. Yeah. So we all went to that one. Um, our team is unique because we are can we keep for women's rugby, but there's currently only about five to seven of us. So what we have done in this year is partnered with Camp Lajeune in Jacksonville, North Carolina and a triad in Greensboro. And so we're kind of one big team. So coordination can be a struggle. Everyone has their own life and we want to have joint practices but we don't always get down to practices. So coming together without actually practicing with the team presents a lot of challenges. Wow, okay. Yeah, but we say yes. Second place though. Awesome. Congrats. Losers division. Oh yeah. So then there are like also multiple women's divisions based on like the size of group and ranking and that kind of thing to keep your sevens is a huge tournament. It's international. People come from different countries for it. Men, women, tons and tons of teams. So they're, they can split everyone into groups and then their like elite groups. And then also during that whole tournament was the armed forces tournament. So it was the first one ever for women, which is awesome. That's cool. Had a bunch of friends and even our own team members from camp June got accepted into those teams. So it was, it was overall just a really unique experience. But yeah, one, one of the groups, like the first day we won no games. Right. And then the second day we came back and won all the games except the last one. But a

Elise: 5:58

come back story for the tournament then. Yes, exactly. So you've got people from like three hours away, you've got like five or six women here and then people from three hours away. Yep. It's so, so are you doing like at least a weekly practice or is it like a monthly practice? Are you just doing yeah, tell me more. Lovington practices Monday and Wednesdays from six to eight. So we try and get as many people out there. We have like a group me, so we can kinda coordinate. And then also we have a coach Jeremy leery with, I'm always fitness and he just, he used to be a rugby player and um, just loves fitness. Like he'll come out and run drills with us and we do workouts and complained to him about doing the workouts and just have some fun. So there are only about, you know, a couple of us right now. We used to have more numbers, but you know, life people can move and whatnot. And then ideally we need every other week to once a month with the other teams, somewhere in the middle, in the middle or June or here. But, um, we're still kind of getting back into the season and we've lost a lot of people. So it's a little bit harder to meet up. Yeah. Yeah. So women's rugby versus men's rugby, right? Or the, there are obviously a lot more people, especially in the Cape fear league that are in the men's rugby team. Right. Then the women's wa, what sort of feeling is though like camaraderie between the, like men's team and the women's team. Are you like going out to get beers afterwards with them or do you see them or, I had some friends in the[inaudible] teams. Um, and I'm starting to know more people on the men's teams. We're all trying to, uh, our add this team, actually the women's team was around like two, three years ago. Yeah. And it dissipated, uh, for whatever reason, um, we know some of the people on that team and that it was just hard for them to maintain. Right. Um, and they had had a relationship with them and I'm not sure how it ended, but, uh, with only a few of us, it's hard for us to participate in some of their activities when it comes to it, but we're hoping to get a little bit closer with them and um, whenever I kind of go to their games. So, um, hopefully, hopefully we get, um, get a little close in the next few years if we're still around. Yeah. Being so small presents a little bit of struggle there. Right, right. Um, are you the only queer person on your team? Do you know I or do or, or do others, do other people on the team know that you are? Everyone knows, I notice and I think that that's one of the cool things about rugby. You walk in and everyone's kind of half prepared for someone to come out or be out already. But yeah, no, I'm not the only one. It took me a second to member. Right. But yeah, no, we have a couple of girls. It's about half and half. And the illusion side is actually most of our team is straight win, which is not always the norm. College teams can sometimes be more majority straight or, yeah. Um, but like a lot of teams, obviously it could be, it just feel like it's one of those sports that gets assumed that there are a lot of yes. Especially queer women. Yes. Just like softball, you gotta get a stereotype. There is definitely a stereotype there, but it's not, it's not obviously just for queer women. Right. But we, it's welcoming to everyone. And so are the men. I think the men, men culture in rugby is pretty much the same and varies from place to place. But rugby in general is very an open sport of all shapes and sizes are welcome. So that's kind of the ongoing theme I'm all around, which is really nice. That's why I like a lot about it. Yeah. That you don't have to fit into a certain football sizes, that it's just everybody can, everyone provides value. Good. Um, did you play any other sports as a kid then before, you know, having people convince you to do rugby or up til college? Yeah. Um, I played soccer when I was younger. I hurt my leg and then after that I wasn't really as enthused about going back and then joining the marching band.[inaudible] that counts as a sport. I know it's hotly debated, but I did get some workouts in there. Um, but yeah, no, I, I in college I didn't play sports. I did go to the gym a lot and uh, and continued after college I did a lot of, um, I still work out like almost every day in a gym. Yeah. So I overall just enjoy being physically fit and working to better myself. Right. Not a lot of sports since then. Yeah. Jen and the personal trainer, what sort of, what, um, has that added to your experience of maybe just going to the gym by yourself during college or, right. Yeah, he is great. He, um, what I really like about him being our coach is he kind of walked through the basics and every practice. Uh, and when we do do more fitness focused things, we have enough time to focus on our breathing. Cause a lot of, uh, recovery can I guess, be enhanced by the way you breathe. So if you breathe through your nose, your heart rate's going to drop a little bit faster, which allows you to do more and more or less. So he teaches us those parts of it and he'll kind of go into an explanation of why we're doing the exercise we're doing. So I just appreciate the education that he's brought to the table that we wouldn't be getting elsewhere. And also that he's taking his time out from his family and three kids and his wife and, and he has a job, um, to tell us to do. Bear crawls down the field. He's his friends. Cause none of us are going to tell ourselves to do that for. So he's been, it's been a really great to have someone kinda run the team cause it's very hard to have in your own teammate tell you, okay guys, we're going to do this. Right. So, right. You've started rugby now after college. How was that? I mean maybe since you didn't do a sport in college, but how, I don't know, I guess like making friends as an adult is weird. Right? So I guess starting sports as an adult must be like a little bit different than, you know, sort of continuing a sport on from high school or from college or something like that. Or most of the people on the team doing a similar thing. Or are most of the people right, having, have played rugby for five or 10 years or, yeah, a lot of us on the team, if it's, you have a handful of rookies. Um, for us we do, we have a lot of bets that are instead of been around for years and years. Um, and the age will just vary. We have one person who isn't playing currently and I'll think, but she was playing with us for the past year. I think she's in her fifties, she's been around quite a long time. Um, but I dunno a lot of people going to college, you know, you don't really know much. There aren't as many high school teams so you do get to kind of build that foundation together with more people. But even still people will come randomly and just want to learn as an adult and it's kind of fun. I don't know, whatever anyone comes. We try to be really conscious about walking through basics and not just throwing a term out there without explaining it and cause it's, it's hard to learn something new sometimes. And I don't know, rugby is such a scary thing and can actually, like for me, I was really anxious at first and getting on the field is scary and I didn't really know what to expect. So we try to take a lot of time with people who are brand new to it, especially when they're our age and or you know, an adult. Yeah. Maybe try to make friends or trying to be just generally fit and learn something new. Um, it can be hard, but it's also really fun if you get into it. Yeah. Yeah. If life doesn't get in the way because it surely will try you think that you as a queer person, like few your body in terms of fitness in a different way than maybe your maybe straight teammates or other people at the gym. It seems like a vague question. Yup. Could you clarify like, um, maybe you want a different look from your body or maybe you have different expectations of what you're, you want from fitness or sports then maybe somebody else. Yes. Um, I'm not quite sure. Uh, it's a, it's a hard question. It's something that I'm like trying to grasp yeah. For through this podcast, but like, there's like, there's no one answer. Right, right. Well, I mean, you know, if asked us six, seven, eight years ago when I was in college and not as confident and I didn't really like my body as much, um, you know, that answer would look a lot different than now. Me, I've personally just come to terms in the past couple of years. It's really actually just liking the way that I look and appreciating it. Um, and I mean that's just from fitness in general, right? Being fit and learning more and how to be healthy. Um, and I think for me as someone who's a little present, a little bit more masculine, like I don't, I am trying to, you know, make my chest a little bit flatter and my ass a little bit flatter that are not flatter, but it's, you know, anyways. Yeah, no, yeah, you're good. But yeah, just in general, um, the definition and the results that I see. Do you make me more confident in my own gender? I think. Yeah. That's good. That's a good answer. Um, what has been your proudest moment since starting rugby? Honestly, I just, anytime I score is still so exciting because it doesn't happen often. Yeah. My position is a lot. I tackle a lot. I am pretty good at tackling. Um, I still have a lot to learn, but it's just fun and I always get back up and do it again. Yeah. Um, but anytime you have that feeling of accomplishment, especially, you know, that it's from all this teamwork, there's so much built into this, that one score. But, um, even just breaking away and running with the ball or if I get a good tackle, if I catch the ball like on kickoff, that's a good feeling. And, or I'm kicking a conversion. Yeah. So when you score and you get a certain amount of points and then when you kick it, you get additional points and if you get it through those uprights. So it's fun. I really like to kick mostly the backs. The smaller, faster people tend to be the kickers. Right. I really enjoy that as a forward. So it's kind of weird. Yeah. Is there anything you feel like I haven't touched on? Do you have a good story to tell? Well, I guess something I could talk about is honestly just the best thing about red, be sure. Yeah. Which is, um, the feeling of support and community you have with people. Um, people, you know, hear a being. I always heard, I've been, I'm like, yeah, that sounds scary. Or like, Ooh, there's like a stereotype comes to mind or whatever, um, just sweaty people in blah, blah, blah. But I've just, I don't know, how do I see my friends play sweaty, dirty people are crazy. Yeah. Like why would you do that? You do this. But um, um, that's just the known thing in the community. Like you tackle some people and some people, everyone plays differently. But I, for example, was playing against the Savannah team and I think I had sprained my ankle earlier in the game, so I wasn't feeling super great, but I was playing anyways. You know, you have the adrenaline and you're going to go, like, I did not want to stop. And at some point someone tackled me and it probably felt funny to her, but she kind of stopped just like, Hey dude, are you good? Yeah. And I was like, yeah man. And then like, thank you. Right. And then later, you know, after every rugby game you go social. Uh, so you go, so like go to usually a brewery or something. You don't have to drink or anything but go there and have fun with your team and the other team. And so I went up to her and I said, Hey, I just want to comment on how great your sportsmanship was. I really appreciate it that you checked in on me because that's what I would do. And most people don't do that. Like, or some people will do that but not everyone does. So it was just really neat. And overall the community of comradery like that you have with getting to know people in places. I've met so many people in the past year and a half and I've made so many friends and um, it's just nice. Like one of the things you say when you're writing with someone is you say I'm with you. And yeah, even just hearing someone say that knowing that you have support is really, really great feeling. Yeah. Oh yeah. So I did, I didn't know about the social aspect of afterwards. Um, and you have then traveled to other locations other right. That was, you asked for earlier, I guess match games, matches, matches, work games or tournaments. Is that just like just in the Southeast, then we'll ride these pretty much all over, I don't know, no appointment where your team is sort of making the AR matrix season is Southeast. So I think the most Northern team that we play is Durham. Okay. Um, so we played Durham, um, Southern Pines. There are games in Savannah, Charleston, green, maybe not Greenville. Talking back about your drug B terms, if you play for another team and you can't be this for matrix, but if you're playing like a friendly where everyone just kind of comes up and they get the ref, uh, you can whore. So a lot in the sevens tournament is people will just go to a tournament without a team and be like, does anyone need a whore? Oh my God. You just jump on that too. Yeah. With the summer I, our, our team had played in one tournament and we didn't, we like went through our round, but then Southern Pines was continuing on and they really needed someone for the fine or, yeah, I think it was semi-finals. So I was like, huh, I guess I can play say like chord with them. Yeah, they're actually really nice. Um, but yeah. Can we, do you throwing that term around outside of rough? Probably not. Sometimes I say it around other people. They're like, what? I'm like, well, um, you traveled, sorry. Oh yeah. So we just, we do travel a lot tournaments and we'd go to Savannah, the fifteens tournament every March. It's like st Patrick's day around that time. So people go a lot of places. I went to a tournament this summer in a S South of Chattanooga, North of is like North Georgia. That was, that was a good drive. I can't remember how long it was. Like seven hours. Yeah. Yeah. Then the social aspect when people were asking me, I mean I just, I hadn't, I hadn't heard, but I mean you did sort of, yeah. Talk on that a little. And usually in every social, wherever it's had, um, people will sing songs. So there are rugby songs. Oh, that's cool. I don't know if you ever heard of that. Oh, they're usually pretty vulgar. Um, very call and response. So like if you want your typical drinking song exactly. Like if you want to sing part of the song, cause usually it's, it's interactive where there are all these different options options based off of like the position or, I don't know, there's a song about Yogi bear even super random. Um, but you kind of just hold your cup over your head and then you go next to everyone points at you. Yeah. So it's just stuff like that that everyone can kind of come together and bond over is really fun. Um, we actually had a social at my house over the um, for Cape your sentence weekend and I kind of, I learned some of the songs on the piano. Them all they're saying, you said it was a lot of fun. That sounds really fun. Might've been a little tipsy. So it took me a little bit to get that, it sounds so much better. I'm over here like, God, I be like, sounds crazy. Exactly. Yeah, it's a good time. It's just really unique and it's a, it's a hard barrier to break to get into just understanding everything and also feeling like you can do that, but once you do it and once you try it and if you really like it, you get to come off the field every single time off the pitch saying I did that, like yeah, whatever I have this week, I trucked someone and then drank with them after like, that's awesome. Or you know, however, every teammate is contributing in their own way. Right. So with the social, when you're, you're definitely just competitive on the field and it goes away home immediately afterwards. A lot of teams are different. I mean there are premier teams that might operate in different way. You might have a player who's really advanced and they really aren't necessarily about the social aspect, but usually even professionals are going to do play the game and then enjoy afterwards. Kind of just, yeah, the love of the actual game and not necessarily any, I don't know, gruff that was on the field. Right. It's not the same for everyone. Like some people are just the way they are, but, or have different preferences. But anything else that you feel like I haven't just, it's just like the most inclusive sport I think really. I would argue that per, I can't think of another sport that is as inclusive. Okay. That's rugby. I don't know, I just, it's great. I kind of like it. Yeah. That's good. That's really good. Yeah. I would say another nurse misnomer not to tell him right back. No, you're good. You're good. Um, people also like, uh, worry about not having pads or anything. That's something that you hear a lot. But in rugby they teach you how to safely tackle, like you see football players going head to head. Obviously that breeds concussions left and right. And it's not that you don't get concussions of Ryan P, but typically people are going lower and, um, you can get red carded for, or yellow carded for high tackles. So if you tackle higher than a certain amount or if they have like a really nasty, even if accidental, like neck or something like that, you might get called off the field. So it's um, safer than most people realize. But you know, that doesn't mean you're not going to get hurt. But a lot of attitudes change about getting hurt on the field anyways after they play for a little bit. But like if you hurt your finger, you're right is really hurt. Right. I've never done that before, but it's not that bad. Right. So anyways, that was my only other thing. Oh yeah, sure. Like when was the first time you tackled or were you like then practicing lots of tackling before the like first tackle end game. All of the adrenaline. We always practice, especially with any new person that comes on and we want to lock them step by step through the tackling and just get them used to falling. Um, and we have um, big bags that they can tackle and get used to the feeling. It's nothing like just a real game but at least get you comfortable with it. Because, I mean, when someone tackles you, you usually can see it coming, usually know what's going to happen and you can kind of brace yourself and learn kind of to get rid of the gut instinct of like putting your arm out so that it might, uh, you might break her wrist. So if you learned to put it by their side and just let the fall happen, tuck your chin, um, then yeah, they definitely helps learning over time and it, you get way more comfortable with it as well and learn how to tackle safely to the person as well. So do you feel comfortable sharing your Instagram? Yes. Way people can find you. Sure. Yeah. If anyone has any questions, would love to explain more because Laura knows it love to talk about rugby, but yeah, it's Cape your women's rugby club, women's with the S at the end and then mine is, yeah, Potter point MP3. The queer fitness podcast is co-produced by Eden Robinson and many thanks to our newest patron Eden Robinson. This episode of the queer fitness podcast is sponsored by our patriotic for just$1 a month. You too. Can become a patron of the queer fitness podcast. You'll get access to bonus content from every episode, as well as patron only perks become a patron and helps support the show at patrion.com/queer fitness pod[inaudible].